We all joined Facebook to brag about our great lives (or to brag about our troubles) and to compare ourselves to other people’s brag-worthy lives. And from what I can see there are two types of braggers. The first brags via status updates. Example: Breakfast in bed thanks to my amazing husband! Love you babe!
Then there are the second type, myself included, who prefer to photo-brag. Most moms fall into this category. Also included in this category are: people who can cook/bake; people who take nice vacations; athletic people with six-pack abs (the last two often overlap, but that’s beside the point). A photo-brag on Facebook looks something like this:
Brag #1: My kids are smart.
Each month I post a handful of photos of Monk A & B looking cute while doing very smart-looking things. The captions imply that these very smart-looking things are just casual, every day occurrences. Example:
My Facebook caption: “Monk B and his favourite book”.
The in-my-head caption: “OMG, for three seconds straight he looked at the page! It looks like he is actually reading, doesn’t it?”
Brag #2: My kids are stylish.
Every so often (read: once in a blue moon) we go on an outing with Monk A & B. This means they get to wear “real people” baby clothes. I open the bottom drawer of their dresser and cut the tags off a cute baby outfit given to us by a generous friend or aunt. Then, 15 minutes before we have to leave, I change them out of their spit-up/poop stained sleepers and into their real people clothes. Voila! Stylish babies! Before we go, I take some pictures. These pictures are eventually posted in my Monk A & B Facebook album to receive a bunch of “likes” and complimentary comments. I know I’m not really fooling anyone. Every mom knows babies (especially mine) wear sleepers 99.9% of the time. But, somehow, this brag is still effective.
Candid picture of Monk A in his normal clothes:
Facebook picture of a stylish Monk A on our way to a birthday party:
#3: The multi-brag.
This photo-brag has many layers. The most obvious is that Monk A & B can sit in their high chairs now. Yay! The less obvious brag is that I prepared a nice dinner and sat at the table to eat it. But the biggest brag of all is that BOTH Monk A & B sat there with me while I ate my dinner. Parents of twins know this is a huge achievement. Getting two babies to sit happily in their high chairs at the exact time my supper is prepared is extremely rare. Like finding a four leaf clover or something.
Facebook moms who photo-brag, like me, can be annoying. We are typically first-time moms. One day, however, I aspire to be like those second- and third-time moms who post photos of their kids finger painting on the couch or dumping a hundred books on the living room floor. I know one mom of three who posts photos of all the strange places her kids fall asleep around the house. These moms are the best. They let you have a laugh at their expense and make you feel normal.